The Day that wasn’t: The day café coffee day arrived

Bangalore/Chennai: Upro, one of India’s largest IT service provider has announced the launch of the ‘coffee vending machine’ in all its pantries, starting today. Speaking on this occasion, the Chief administrator oppicer Mr. PRK said, “We are very happy and pleased to announce the coffee vending machines in all our pantries. This shows Upro’s aggressiveness and commitment to pro-employee policies which establishes Upro as market leader and one of the greatest innovators in present times”. When quizzed about the rumors that these machines were delivered to Upro free of cost, Mr. PRK said, “We will not comment on market speculations”. Mr. VRao, country head, Coffee day pantry services, reached the dais holding the plastic cup filled with the coffee & said, “It’s a proud moment for us. We are here for a long term strategic relationship with Upro.” When talking about the non linear growth of Coffee day he said, “We have a great growth potential. Since the employee of Upro slog for more hours in office the growth of our coffee sales is not linear to the employee growth in Upro”. Mr. Madhu, Upro’s Chief employee procurement and maintenance oppicer said, “The presence of coffee vending machine has already started showing the results. The morale levels of our employees has already grown by 50 to 75 basis points when compared to last quarter, thus giving us a 0.25% sequential growth. These results are available in the website of Gartner, the country’s largest paid survey company”.

Bring your own Coffee seeds:
Mr. PRK unveiled the new policy known as ‘Bring your own coffee seeds’. On a medium to long term perspective, the macroeconomic levels in EU is bright and hence the employee will be able to afford to bring their own coffee seeds.

One of the employee of Upro, on condition of anonymity said that these machines were given to Upro on DBOT basis (Design, build, operate & transfer). He further complained that the milk has been procured at throw away prices due to change in the pattern of discretionary spending by the customer in developed markets and hence these gives a distinct stint. The top management of Upro is not reachable for the comments
Source: Reuters/Bloomberg/TOI/ET/The Hindu/Vijay Karnataka/Dinakaran/EEnadu/Unnadu

Old Mahabalipuram Road (IT Corridor) Born 2001; Died 2011;

A letter to the honorable Chief Minister

Dear Madam,
As an IT employee and a responsible citizen I would like to bring the condition of the ‘IT corridor’ (OMR or Rajiv Gandhi Salai) to your kind attention. Your announcement about the phase 2 of IT corridor between Siruseri and Mahabalipuram has brought in lot of cheers but little was the realization that the phase 1 of this road is still far from over. This road though conceived in 2001 was completely only in 2008 post several cost revisions and escalations. But 3 years after the inauguration of the main carriageway the service lane under the phase 1 is still not complete. The problems due to non completion of service lane are as follows:

1. Due to non completion of service lanes, the 3rd lane on either side of this road is occupied by vehicles for parking. This leaves just 2 lanes on either side & this affects the free flow of traffic.



2. There are no pedestrian paths and no there are no bus stops/bays. Commuters have to stand on the road under the sun and when it rains it becomes all the more difficult.



3. Due to non availability of storm water drainage along the service lanes, there are water logging problems. There was heavy flooding in Semmencherry just outside the Tata Consultancy office (TCS) and Thoraipakkam areas due to recent heavy showers.



4. Vehicles wanting to use service lanes use main carriage way and come in opposite direction.


5. The IT companies on this road employ around 1.25 lac employees however these companies depends upon water tanker lorries to meet the daily drinking water requirement. In the year 2010 when tanker lorries stopped supplying water for some time, few companies even shuttered their doors and evoked DRP (Disaster recovery plan). The then Deputy Chief minister Mr. Stalin promised to complete the metro water pipeline along the service lane by December 2010 but there was literally no progress after that.
   
   There seems to be no co-ordination between metro water, CWSSB, TNRDC and the local panchayats for completion of service lanes as they keep blaming each other for the delay in construction. TNRDC cancelled the contractor few times in the past citing design faults but every time the new contractor comes, there is no change in the speed of execution.
   

Apart from the issues concerning service lanes, there are other problems plaguing IT corridor which needs your immediate attention:
1. Cattles day out: Cows, buffaloes, goats and dogs has a free run in the IT corridor. These animals sleep, gaze on this road, sometimes jump over the median. If unchecked, a disaster is sure waiting to happen. The stretch between Sholinganallur and Siruseri is the most vulnerable.
2. IT corridor touches lot of village panchayats. The road is not properly cleaned and there are large amount of garbage lying around, along this road. The heaps of garbage on the one of the most prestigious road not only create a health hazard but also create a third world look among the investor community.
3. The five flyovers/grade separators announced in the assembly never took off. It takes nearly 20 minutes to cross the Sholinganallur junction during peak hours. Similar is the case in Tidel park junction, MGR salai junction etc. It’s all the more surprising to note about the non inclusion of this corridor in the monorail & metro rail plan.
4. The interior roads branching out of OMR/IT corridor is in very bad shape. Formation of IT corridor ensured horizontal growth but these developments were not supported or backed up by proportionate infrastructure development in the suburbs. When Chennai city got expanded the places beyond Semmencherry like Navalur, Siruseri, Padur were not included in the city limit surprisingly.
5. There is no clear lane marking on the carriage way & there is no lane discipline followed. More policing and better traffic monitoring will ensure people follow lane discipline and don’t jump signal.

I have great respect and trust on your government and your administrative style. Since this road is your brain child, I believe some action will be taken on war footing basis. Tamilnadu do not require any more IT policy as it has already established itself in the IT industry. The completion of this corridor and proper maintenance will influence the investor fraternity and this road can act catalyst for all future developments. Our government’s commitment to physical infrastructure will automatically ensure all around development.

My City, My woes

Filter coffee & Unfiltered Marghazi Raagam, Raucous Yellow auto & eco savvy Temple cars, teeming Ranganathan street & Sumptuous express avenue , Lungi clad roadside Romeos & Waist tapping laptop techies, Bharatanatiyam & Duppakuthu Vathiyam, Saravana Bhavan & Kaiendhi bhavan, Marina beach & Larger than life Rajnikanth’s reach, green medians & Kollywood comedians ,wall murals & roadside urinals , River Cooum & its queasiness aroma, white & white dark complexioned politicians, Satyam cinemas, Mount road and last but not the least Captain Dhoni’s super kings. Well, im talking about things that are synonyms of Chennai, my home town. Chennai is India’s fourth largest metro, third best city to live, 9th city in world’s top 10 investment destination and second most competitive city in India. These are facts that a Chief Minister or Mayor or bureaucrat can boast of. As a normal resident of this city, there are the things that I would really look forward for a change:

The Graffiti and poster menace: The cheapest and easiest form of advertising is here to stay despite the official ban. If your house is on a busy street or main road, you don’t need to paint your wall. Even if you do, it will eventually become the ruling party’s manifesto depicting their leaders face like lion, beer, buffalo etc. This craziness can be best appreciated when you see important signage or sign boards in city eaten up by these posters. The Adult movie posters on temples, funeral or death notice on the hospital compound walls are just a tip of the iceberg.
Dual identity: Chennai is a city which can even confuse a navigator or google earth or some of mankind’s best innovation in navigation space. All major roads carry an English name & a Tamil name. Instance, Mount road is also known as Anna salai. Mt Poonamalle road is also known as EVR Periyar Salai. There is more than one MGR road in the city. Similarly there are multiple roads named after Mahatma Gandhi. When Ms. Jayalalitha comes to power, Kalaignar nagar is abbreviated to ‘KK Nagar’. When Mr. Karunanidhi is in power, the original name (ie Kalaignar nagar) is restored.
Even houses have 2 door numbers. Each house has an old number and a new number. It’s easier to find a house using a landmark than finding it using the door number.

A true democracy: In a democratic country like India, everyone has right to live. Mosquitoes, Rats and Olive Ridley Turtles are inhabitants for ages ever since Chennai (then Madras) was formed. The Cooum river which is Asia’s biggest (perhaps World’s biggest) open drainage runs across the city and provides a perfect breeding ground for mosquitoes and rats. Whenever the politicians feel the pinch of inflation, they start the Cooum river cleaning project to fill their wallets. As long as the sludge in our political system remains, river Cooum will never be clean and green.
The Olive Ridley Turtle is something unique to Chennai. Recently some of the activists and fishermen halted a beachside elevated road project as they claimed it would endanger Olive Ridley Turtles. Not sure whether their environmental impact report also considered the fuel wastage & pollution caused by the vehicles struck up in traffic. The fishermen, who kill fishes to make their living, acting as if they are fish’s natural predators, also opposed this elevated project which was finally shelved by the government.

The big social divide: While it is exciting to see huge commercial complexes and skyscrapers dotting the city’s landscape it is equally important that the growth is inclusive and takes into account the local community along the growth corridors as well. Else the roads like OMR, GST will see huge slums (like Mumbai’s Dharavi) in the years to come. A drunken man urinating before a IT company, men chasing buffalos under hot sun in the middle of IT corridor, an aged person picking up plastic covers from the garbage bins establishes these well known hard truth.

Chennai lack those lakes: When it rains, the city roads become more viable for water transportation. For a second, you would think you were in Alleppey. This rain water gets polluted and drained to sea. Using the desalination plant the sea water is converted back to drinking water. While the government made rain water harvesting mandatory for all buildings, the planners failed to notice the natural rain water harvesters, which are our lakes, being neglected & converted to housing units. The present day Nungambakkam and T.Nagar areas were once lakes. My office stands on a place which was once part of the Pallikaranai Marshland.

The Auto menace: One of my north Indian friends visited Chennai. Stepping out from the Central railway station he approached an auto and asked him ‘Can you please take me for a ride?’ He realized that the auto guy really took him for a ride when he demanded 200 rs for an 8 km ride. The auto guy’s tradition of fleecing the passengers’ dates back to Stone Age and they never change. If Chennai is called Gateway of South India, this looting starts right at the gate. Does this say ‘Get-away of South India?’

Planners day out: Chennai started growing only after British established the East India company here. The present “Beach to Tambaram” EMU rail line which is Chennai’s lifeline was planned and constructed by British. When it was inaugurated in 1931 it was considered too futuristic. The British determined how the city should grow and the city exactly grew along this corridor. Today, after 76 years when we are implementing the Metro, the city has already grown by leaps and bounds & this is being laid through the most congested localities of Chennai. Planning is always a thing of past in Chennai.

And, Chennaites: There are active and passive citizens of Chennai. The actives are ones who gets their hands dirty and raise themselves against these civic, social & environmental issues. Perhaps the reason they are called as Activists. The passive are ones who don’t bother to care for their city or restrict themselves to blogs. They can be called egotistic. Unfortunately 99% of Chennai’s population falls under the second category!!!

- Hari

Walking thro: Life with Anu

After 5 days of meticulous planning, it happens every weekend. If we work upon one thing, another problem crops up. Oh my God, is my life going to be like this throughout? This weekend, we fought badly on who should clean the wardrobe? It was her wardrobe and she could have maintained it well. Why did she put her trousers in the Saree holder? The moment I started cleaning, I started unearthing useless treasures. What is the use of keeping the wrapper of chocolate I gifted 4 years ago, when there was no sweetness now? I stepped out and got into my car. I ignited the engine & turned off my mobile. I drove like crazy through the roads of Chennai. The car went through the Nungambakkam high road, R.K. Salai. Our CA institute is located in Nungambakkam high road. When I crossed ‘Café Coffee Day’ in Isphahani centre, ‘Sridhar & Santhanam office’ (where I did my CA articleship) my mind started recollecting the old memories. Like it happens in most of the Tamil movies, the images before me blurred, helping my mind to walk thro’ the past.

The first decade of my life went without making any mark as I hardly remember my childhood days. The second decade was flat with not much of happenings, I was neither bright nor a back bencher. The end of second decade or the earlier 20s was similar to a roller coaster ride with excitement lasting only for a nano second while boredom lasted more than the time I asked for. I was away from my parents and had to take care myself. This sudden independence hit me hard and I struggled to overcome the emotions. Studies were no longer a cake walk and Peer pressure only led to blood pressure. I failed in my professional degree and diagnosed with severe kidney infection in the year 2004. I did not want to wander around this planet as a loser & questions about the reason of my existence was heard within. The future looked bleak as I was confident that things would only get worse.

It was at this time, I met a gal in the office where I did my CA articleship. It was August 2004 but believe me I forgot the exact date of re-birth. She joined our office as an article clerk. It was my ‘Crush at first site’. I went around my office to take some water or carry loads of file in an effort to get the glimpse of her beauty but she was deeply engrossed in ‘Sherlock Homes’. As a teenager I dreamt of a gal who could look modern at the same time traditional. She perfectly fitted the bill. I did not want to get the impression as ‘flirt’ in my first meeting itself which really held me back from proceeding further.

All article clerks stationed in Chennai for audits should attend the Saturday class in our CA firm, but the real reason for many was to meet & greet our fellow colleagues. These Saturday classes acted as a perfect stage for introducing the new joinees & in one such class I was introduced to this gal. ‘Hi. My Name is Anusha, what’s yours?’ was the question from her. I did not forget my name but took time to respond as my mind concatenated both our names. There were some arms length dialogues but soon we dispersed. My friends started realizing the sudden change in my behavior as I became a regular attendee for these Saturday classes. My eyes even glued to some of the all time ‘Mokkai’ romantic scenes in the Tamil movies.

Months rolled, vehicles went for service and I grew in size, thanks to all those ‘OC Saapadu’ provided by the clients. But nothing progressed on Anusha’s side except for the meetings during Saturday classes. The one major problem with Anusha is that she gets friends in seconds and before you realize that she starts talking about things showing decades of familiarity. During this time, I also noticed another junior article clerk becoming more and more close to her. Their private chats near our office staircase, exchange of foods, pleasantries made me fuming. There were times when we had ‘one on one’ but several such meetings went without making any impact or impression.

I had a friend in my articleship firm whom we call as ‘Gossip Galore’. He is a creator and disseminator of gossips. The funny part is that he extracts information from people as a trustworthy friend but duly pass on that information to others with a ‘confidentiality’ tag. People throng him for the latest gossips so was I. I came to know a lot of ‘not so good’ things about Anusha’s friend, some of them might not be true also. It seemed that he commented about Anusha’s duck walk style, flirting nature, immaturity etc but it deeply affected me. I was not bad enough to let Anusha know about these as I did not want to take the shortest and cheapest route to woo her.

This is when I got a chance to meet her in our head office in R.K. Salai. I was working on an audit report and she came to hand over her audit files. Resting those butterflies in my abdomen, I began the conversation. This conversation starting from Reception, extended to the lobby, staircase and finally till the parking lot. From work related issues, the conversation slowly went onto discuss about friends and in this course I learnt that Anusha was really sad about her friend distancing him from her with an indifference behavior. I should say that it was not a well planned conversation but something forced me to tell about all those gossips & comments which I heard about her through my friend. Thinking myself as a caretaker, I was gracious enough to shower her with my advices. I asked Anusha to be careful with such “wrong (?)” friendships, driving a point that I can be a trustworthy friend. Anusha was certainly impressed and with a twinkle in her eyes she acknowledged my advices. When she moved her vehicle from the parking lot I was sure that she was moved. This meeting was a milestone in our relationship. I was elevated as her ‘Best Friend’ from just being a ‘friend’ (which she had in dozens).

We started losing our self in each other’s company. The free SMSs for the day were exhausted within hours. Since I was senior to her, I made sure that I help in her office work. The best friend category is the most confusing relationship category as it falls between ‘Friend’ and ‘Love’. She called me one day to her client office which was in Spencer Plaza and gave her diary. I went to her house once to give my company law notes and she introduced me to her mom. She used to make surprise visits to my client office to meet me. We used to talk about office, CA exams/test papers, family, food, dress etc but we never fail to suffix one word in all our messages. Our messages used to end with a bolded word ‘Friend’, may be an effort to fence ourselves. For me who took the relationship till this level, the reality suddenly started to hurt. I was still doing my CA final, having a huge responsibility to take care of my family which includes my physically challenged sister. My family is a Brahmin Iyer family and is very conservative. Love marriages are a big NO and I always had a ‘Dad-phobia’.

I was neither able to break this relationship nor wanted to continue. I used to take pledge on each morning not to message Anusha and those promises were found broken on the very next moment I get a message from her.

My Vizag trip was the next milestone in our relationship. Some say ‘Distance connects people’. It happened in my life too. I was asked to go to ‘Taj Vizagapatnam’ for an internal audit. I have been to this place earlier during my first year articleship with Praveena (whom I regard as my mentor) and I just loved the experience. This time, when I was asked to go, I was not enthralled, the one and only reason being Anusha. I told her not to message me as I had to incur huge roaming charges. She did not appreciate it but since I had to pay for my mobile bills from my stipend money of Rs. 675 per month, she had to agree to my request. I left Chennai with a heavy heart and a swollen throat. One day, Anusha had an accident. When she was returning from her client office, she fell into an open drainage. Her left leg got struck and she was pulled from it by the bystanders. I was apprehensive for the whole day and was getting hour by hour update from her. Several years later, when Anusha told me that this particular incident and my gesture made a huge impact, all I could do was to thank the Chennai corporation drainage workers. :)

This was December 2005, ie 5 months of our relationship as “best friends”. Meeting Anusha in the morning and evening was my regular routine. This apart, we use to meet each other in our client offices. I bought a new two wheeler. I discovered the world with Anusha in my ‘Discover’ bike. From Nungambakkam to Villivakkam, from Marina to Elliotts, with her I felt the distance has shrunk. The ‘Café Coffee Day’ in Ispahani Centre used to be the famous hangout in Chennai those times. She was little hesitant when I called her for a coffee but finally accepted it after minutes of persuasion. She followed me in her scooter and I was showing all those road signs I learnt in my driving school to impress her with my road sense. In the coffee shop, she clicked me in her mobile cam to check the camera clarity but I understood the real intention. Even today when I see the ‘Café Nirvana’ in the CCD menu, I recollect those old good times.

We both realized that we were not just ‘friends’. Starring at her constantly, holding her hand, touching her feet, tell me in which planet a ‘best friend’ would do? Proposing to her was the natural progression & it happened on midnight of 24th December 2005. These were the messages:
Anusha: Where are we leading to?
Me: I did not understand your question
Anusha: Where are we leading to??
Me: You know, Harish Bhattad asked me if we are in love
Anusha: What did you respond?
Me: I did not respond
Anusha: What will you respond if I ask you this?
Anusha: Hello??
Me: To some extent, YES
After this, there was no response from her for an hour. She (Bluddi women!!) told me months later that she was checking it with Veena (her best friend) on what to respond. She asked me to meet her in ‘Hot Breads’ the next day afternoon. She did not say ‘yes’ and did not say ‘No’. But these are all enough hints that she is in love. I celebrated it yet took several efforts to make her to say that explicitly.

Over to Aug 2011: There was a huge gathering near Gandhi statue in Marina. People were holding the flag and protesting for the government proposed Lokpal bill. Their slogans woke me up mentally, from the deep slumber. Is that Anu in a white dress standing near the light house, messaging someone? She must be messaging me as im really late today. No, no that’s not possible. She is at my home. I fought with her and came here. I switched off my mobile too, how rude?! She must be really upset. I switched on my mobile.
Anu (that’s how I call her now): Where are we leading to?
Me: I did not understand your question
Anu: Where are we leading to??
Me: You know what, I asked myself today if we are in love still
Anu: So what’s your answer?
Anu: What will you respond if I ask you this? To some extent YES?
Me: Im crazy about you Anu. It’s been 4.5 of years of life with you. There were several ups and downs. But who said, “Nothing is constant except change”. I took a U turn and no one is stopping me now. Life is in full throttle!!!

- Hari

SIZE ZERO: what not to do for weight reduction?

All work and no play made my friend Srini an obese boy. Coming from a small town in Tamilnad, he was extremely dedicated, thin but well built. An excessive dose of socializing with friends, recently found obsession with junk foods and an ever changing bio from IST to GMT to EST took a toll on his health.

He likes to walk but his wake up time which varies anytime between 6 in the morning and 3 in the evening screws up his schedule. He wants to diet but beyond 9PM there are no diet burgers & pizzas available in the cafeteria. He went to gym but being a couch potato in the treadmill he attracted lot of eyeballs and this enhanced attention kept him away from it. He bought a Sauna Belt for Rs. 2999 after spending 2 hours in an online auction. But the effect of the Sauna belt on his tummy was such that he slept a whole night without switching off the belt & the next day it was charred beyond recognition without burning his calories. He subscribed to a weight reduction program in a slimming clinic burning his pocket. He realized that it was ‘Very Limited Calorie Cut’ clinic only after months of stopover.

The transformation from ‘sexy’ Srini to ‘Sizeable’ Srini affected his morale. His dating schedule went haywire & he was deceived by his gal friends. He was crossing the marriage cut-off date of 28 but his matrimonial page had least number of hits, that too unintentional ones! His concentration was affected which started showing up in his work performance. He started getting anxiety problems and soon a heap of health issues followed. Srini was soon shown the door!!

Welcome to new age life style disease called ‘obesity’. Increase in waist size? Some call it as ‘sign of prosperity’. Actually, it is a sign of ‘short term’ prosperity. Some of the finest form of art lost its importance due to mechanization ever since the Industrial revolution took place in Great Britain. The life style is refined and innovation results in more sophistication. Almost all the physical activities are now replaced by machines. This new found life style will be sustainable only if it is a healthy. There are easy ways for a healthy lifestyle such as workouts, dieting etc but the easiest way is to stay ‘Normal’. Srini walked on the treadmill for one kilometer while he took an ‘auto’ to reach his cab pickup point which is a stone throw away from his home. Srini lived in an air-conditioned apartment usually keeping his room dark watching the television all day but pop in to the ‘oxygen’ parlor twice a week. He put his bicycle in a scrap yard and got a pulsar only to start the cycling again in an AC gym. There is no quick way for weight reduction but there are easier ways to it.

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So what’s Srini doing these days? He runs a consulting company & takes classes about ‘Myths in weight reduction’. The famous enrollment program which made him millionaire today is ‘What NOT to do for weight reduction!’

- Hari

The Fast and Furious

Advice always comes free. The older generation’s preaching always begins with ‘During my days’ or ‘When I was young’ kind of statements which is ridiculous, absurd and highly irritating. That’s because the days have changed and so is our lifestyle. Our standard of living has changed drastically and the present generation has several challenges to cope with, which were either non-existent or irrelevant that point in time. The most formidable issues are ‘communication’ and ‘commutation’.
We have 3G internet connections, WiFi and smartphones, so whats the problem with communication? My friend has registered his profile in a matrimonial website. He knows that bride hunting is the most difficult task currently, than job hunting. He uses his datacard and look for an update on a daily basis. The downloading speed is so high that he loses his potential/shortlisted bride before his computer contacts the server. The fact that Ratan Tata and Anil Ambani are playing the spoilsport on his engagement plan makes him fuming. My other friend uses ‘facebook’ extensively. So much so, he even kept his status message once which read as ‘My rectum problem and loose tools, sucks!’. He has his ardent followers and his facebook showed 3 of his friends liking his comments and one of them suggesting him to take some pills. He got a smartphone from an upmarket area in Chennai known as ‘Ritchie’ street for Rs. 6999. He is in depression and feels like ‘hanging’ everytime this Korean handset ‘hangs’ due to his multi-tasking exercise. But I have another friend who is not gadget guru but he is terribly worried on his monthly telephone bills. He just uses a simple basic mobile (May be 1G?) and looking at his mobile bills I asked him if he is looking someone? Then I came to know about this weird disease of making calls to Music channels and dedicating a song. This guy gets goosebumps everytime his voice is heard from his idiot box, but the chance of making it is as difficult as Grammy! Most of the time one will be in the queue which explains the reason for his skyrocketing mobile bills.
The other problem is commutation. We are all married to Indian roads as we spend most of our time on roads which is more than the time we spend at home. The traffic pattern on the particular morning will determine your rest of the day. On a busy weekday, my friend was first to hit the stop line when the signal tuned red in the ‘Tidel Park’ junction in Chennai’s OMR. He has greater responsibilities now as he has to speed up his car within a nano second once the signal turns green. The tension started building up and his blood started rushing out from his cardiac wall, as if a man waiting in a marathon. The time meter below the signal was showing 10 seconds (ie 10 seconds for the signal to turn green). He started accelerating and his foot was moving away from the clutch pedal. The signal turned ‘green’ and he released his clutch pedal when all the hell broke loose. His car stopped! ‘SHITTTTT’, he yelled at ‘Henry Ford’ and switched on his engines. When he attempted to release the clutch, the car stopped again, this time followed with huge honking from the vehicles behind him. One auto driver came near and started showing some signs with his face as horror as Malinga’s when he ‘throws’ his ball. The traffic cop from the other end came fast and gave his share of bad mouth. He reached office finally thinking about his bad day. When his laptop did not boot properly, he passed it nicely to his subordinate whose vehicle passed all signals successfully that day.
I stopped my car one day when the signal tuned ‘orange’. Bang! A call taxi hit me from behind and before I could react, he started shouting at me. The fault is ‘I stopped at the signal when it was only orange’ and this guy was coming at 100 kmph. The cop who intervened got Rs. 500 from the call taxi driver for overspeeding and Rs. 500 from me for not having the number plate in the rear side. (PS: The number plate was damaged only due to this incident or should I say accident?!)
So tell me guys! The next time you hear out from a grey hair about the today’s tech advantage and their olden golden age, will you recommend my blog?

- Hari

Students freak out

On a busy day when the place was buzzing with activity, a group of students joined to celebrate ‘Bus’ day, a mad idea in vogue only in Madras. The students hijacked the bus, forced the inmates to hop out, climbed over the roof and started dancing, singing all in presence of the police personnel. The driver of the bus was threatened at pen point not to accelerate. The traffic became haywire and came to standstill; Office goers, school kids, ambulance services, senior citizens were all at their mercy. I came to know that they were from nearby ‘Pachaiyappa college’ an institution dedicated for graduating rowdies. Only couple of days ago, these students joined their professors for a protest against the proposed metro station near their vicinity, as they feared destruction of green cover which they claim, are used for studying (!)

The ‘bus day’ is basically a thank giving day for the MTC buses which these students use free of cost to woo women, rag/tease people and do all kind of rubbish in the course of their graduation. In Karnataka the bus day is celebrated to encourage people to take public transportation, but here in Chennai, in the name of thanksgiving the seats of the buses are torn & window panes are broken, to give the loss making a MTC a real run for their money. ‘Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins’ is a famous quote. The nose cut and the bleeding mouth due to this barbaric act is nothing but the blow to this democracy.

God or Dog’s own country

My cousin married a Russian and visited Chennai. Our society, like our habit is very reluctant to ‘change’. It does not allow someone to be in his/her own way. A student who meticulously mugs up & scores 99.9% is appreciated while it looks down someone who fairs poor in studies & pursues his/her interest or ambition outside the school curriculum. School topper or college topper at the age of 16, a salaried job in a top notch IT company, arranged marriage at 26 years, own house & children at 30 years are some of the unwritten ‘standard operating’ model. A person departing from this model will occupy the hot seat of all speculations especially in family functions like marriages. Some of my cousin’s close relatives though initially not very happy about his love marriage started realizing the true essentials of a happy engagement which is (a) A boy and (b) A Gal. Religion, language, nationality etc is of no relevance and they are just ‘add ons’ to a married life.

We received her with a warm welcome. We showed her the glassy skyscrapers, grade separators, Air conditioned buses in Chennai. She in turn enquired more about the slums, cattle & people on the streets, may be, hangover from the Oscar winning movie which showed this country in grim, poor light. She asked me to describe the inequality in India in a nutshell. Im taking two scenarios to describe this which I could not do when she asked:

1. My friend Srinivas is not a happy man because of his kid ‘Adithya’ (‘H” silent). He checks his fortune driving his “Fortuner” at every sight of a petty shop in Navi Mumbai. Unfortunately, he could not find even a single ‘Air filling station’ for his kid’s bicycle. His earlier suggestion of a motorized cycle was turned down by ‘Adithya’. The plan B of tubeless tyres is yet to materialize. He lives in an integrated township which has Sauna, Jacuzzi, Spa, Acupunctured walkway, a multiplex, school, mall, tennis court, swimming pool but nothing satisfies ‘Adithya’, more than a joy ride in his cycle. Adding fuel to fire, his service lift often breaks down and Srinivas has to carry the cycle to 15th floor, which overlooks the sea. Though this may help Srinivas to bring down his BMI below 30, he is more than happy to pay Rs. 45,000 for a comprehensive weight reduction program in VLCC.
   
2. My maid’s neighbour VelMurugan is not a happy man. Not because his house, which his family was occupying for generations was bull dozed by the government to give way for a new ‘Multi Level Car Parking’. Not because he was relocated (of-course forcefully) to a place called ‘Semmencherry’, 30 kilometers away from his erstwhile house thus losing his job and livelihood. Not because of his wife who keeps complaining about the drunken men in their locality, poor sanitation, water & overflowing sewage, overshooting monthly family budget; It’s because of his one and only son ‘Tamil selvan’ (Read Tamil as Tamizh) who profusely cries as his old cycle tyre with which he plays is lost in the transit! Also he could not meet his old pals with whom he plays Gilli on the street overlooking the Cooum river!

For people like my cousin’s wife, the real estate development in India might sound weird. The real estate in India is more ‘investor’ driven rather than end user driven. (The government may even give tax exemptions for these real estate developers under SEZ provisions since they engage in rendering service outside India). The inclination towards foreign investors is perhaps the reason we find more Posh apartments and villas in a country where significant junk of the people are lower class or below poverty line. The government spends crores and crores of money in relocating people from slums to make India ‘slum free’. On the other hand due to migrations towards metropolis and lack of housing for these economically weaker sections, more slums are being formed.

The real ghost towns are not just in China but also in India. This is because in the so called new age ‘integrated townships’ the apartments are mostly vacant since the owner lives in developed country like US or Singapore and parking their deposits in developing country like ours. But for India’s facebook account if the status has to become ‘Developed’ all we need is an ‘inclusive’ REAL growth.

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Hari