The Fast and Furious

Advice always comes free. The older generation’s preaching always begins with ‘During my days’ or ‘When I was young’ kind of statements which is ridiculous, absurd and highly irritating. That’s because the days have changed and so is our lifestyle. Our standard of living has changed drastically and the present generation has several challenges to cope with, which were either non-existent or irrelevant that point in time. The most formidable issues are ‘communication’ and ‘commutation’.
We have 3G internet connections, WiFi and smartphones, so whats the problem with communication? My friend has registered his profile in a matrimonial website. He knows that bride hunting is the most difficult task currently, than job hunting. He uses his datacard and look for an update on a daily basis. The downloading speed is so high that he loses his potential/shortlisted bride before his computer contacts the server. The fact that Ratan Tata and Anil Ambani are playing the spoilsport on his engagement plan makes him fuming. My other friend uses ‘facebook’ extensively. So much so, he even kept his status message once which read as ‘My rectum problem and loose tools, sucks!’. He has his ardent followers and his facebook showed 3 of his friends liking his comments and one of them suggesting him to take some pills. He got a smartphone from an upmarket area in Chennai known as ‘Ritchie’ street for Rs. 6999. He is in depression and feels like ‘hanging’ everytime this Korean handset ‘hangs’ due to his multi-tasking exercise. But I have another friend who is not gadget guru but he is terribly worried on his monthly telephone bills. He just uses a simple basic mobile (May be 1G?) and looking at his mobile bills I asked him if he is looking someone? Then I came to know about this weird disease of making calls to Music channels and dedicating a song. This guy gets goosebumps everytime his voice is heard from his idiot box, but the chance of making it is as difficult as Grammy! Most of the time one will be in the queue which explains the reason for his skyrocketing mobile bills.
The other problem is commutation. We are all married to Indian roads as we spend most of our time on roads which is more than the time we spend at home. The traffic pattern on the particular morning will determine your rest of the day. On a busy weekday, my friend was first to hit the stop line when the signal tuned red in the ‘Tidel Park’ junction in Chennai’s OMR. He has greater responsibilities now as he has to speed up his car within a nano second once the signal turns green. The tension started building up and his blood started rushing out from his cardiac wall, as if a man waiting in a marathon. The time meter below the signal was showing 10 seconds (ie 10 seconds for the signal to turn green). He started accelerating and his foot was moving away from the clutch pedal. The signal turned ‘green’ and he released his clutch pedal when all the hell broke loose. His car stopped! ‘SHITTTTT’, he yelled at ‘Henry Ford’ and switched on his engines. When he attempted to release the clutch, the car stopped again, this time followed with huge honking from the vehicles behind him. One auto driver came near and started showing some signs with his face as horror as Malinga’s when he ‘throws’ his ball. The traffic cop from the other end came fast and gave his share of bad mouth. He reached office finally thinking about his bad day. When his laptop did not boot properly, he passed it nicely to his subordinate whose vehicle passed all signals successfully that day.
I stopped my car one day when the signal tuned ‘orange’. Bang! A call taxi hit me from behind and before I could react, he started shouting at me. The fault is ‘I stopped at the signal when it was only orange’ and this guy was coming at 100 kmph. The cop who intervened got Rs. 500 from the call taxi driver for overspeeding and Rs. 500 from me for not having the number plate in the rear side. (PS: The number plate was damaged only due to this incident or should I say accident?!)
So tell me guys! The next time you hear out from a grey hair about the today’s tech advantage and their olden golden age, will you recommend my blog?

- Hari