The Day that wasn’t: The day café coffee day arrived

Bangalore/Chennai: Upro, one of India’s largest IT service provider has announced the launch of the ‘coffee vending machine’ in all its pantries, starting today. Speaking on this occasion, the Chief administrator oppicer Mr. PRK said, “We are very happy and pleased to announce the coffee vending machines in all our pantries. This shows Upro’s aggressiveness and commitment to pro-employee policies which establishes Upro as market leader and one of the greatest innovators in present times”. When quizzed about the rumors that these machines were delivered to Upro free of cost, Mr. PRK said, “We will not comment on market speculations”. Mr. VRao, country head, Coffee day pantry services, reached the dais holding the plastic cup filled with the coffee & said, “It’s a proud moment for us. We are here for a long term strategic relationship with Upro.” When talking about the non linear growth of Coffee day he said, “We have a great growth potential. Since the employee of Upro slog for more hours in office the growth of our coffee sales is not linear to the employee growth in Upro”. Mr. Madhu, Upro’s Chief employee procurement and maintenance oppicer said, “The presence of coffee vending machine has already started showing the results. The morale levels of our employees has already grown by 50 to 75 basis points when compared to last quarter, thus giving us a 0.25% sequential growth. These results are available in the website of Gartner, the country’s largest paid survey company”.

Bring your own Coffee seeds:
Mr. PRK unveiled the new policy known as ‘Bring your own coffee seeds’. On a medium to long term perspective, the macroeconomic levels in EU is bright and hence the employee will be able to afford to bring their own coffee seeds.

One of the employee of Upro, on condition of anonymity said that these machines were given to Upro on DBOT basis (Design, build, operate & transfer). He further complained that the milk has been procured at throw away prices due to change in the pattern of discretionary spending by the customer in developed markets and hence these gives a distinct stint. The top management of Upro is not reachable for the comments
Source: Reuters/Bloomberg/TOI/ET/The Hindu/Vijay Karnataka/Dinakaran/EEnadu/Unnadu