After 5 days of meticulous planning, it happens every weekend. If we work upon one thing, another problem crops up. Oh my God, is my life going to be like this throughout? This weekend, we fought badly on who should clean the wardrobe? It was her wardrobe and she could have maintained it well. Why did she put her trousers in the Saree holder? The moment I started cleaning, I started unearthing useless treasures. What is the use of keeping the wrapper of chocolate I gifted 4 years ago, when there was no sweetness now? I stepped out and got into my car. I ignited the engine & turned off my mobile. I drove like crazy through the roads of Chennai. The car went through the Nungambakkam high road, R.K. Salai. Our CA institute is located in Nungambakkam high road. When I crossed ‘Café Coffee Day’ in Isphahani centre, ‘Sridhar & Santhanam office’ (where I did my CA articleship) my mind started recollecting the old memories. Like it happens in most of the Tamil movies, the images before me blurred, helping my mind to walk thro’ the past.
The first decade of my life went without making any mark as I hardly remember my childhood days. The second decade was flat with not much of happenings, I was neither bright nor a back bencher. The end of second decade or the earlier 20s was similar to a roller coaster ride with excitement lasting only for a nano second while boredom lasted more than the time I asked for. I was away from my parents and had to take care myself. This sudden independence hit me hard and I struggled to overcome the emotions. Studies were no longer a cake walk and Peer pressure only led to blood pressure. I failed in my professional degree and diagnosed with severe kidney infection in the year 2004. I did not want to wander around this planet as a loser & questions about the reason of my existence was heard within. The future looked bleak as I was confident that things would only get worse.
It was at this time, I met a gal in the office where I did my CA articleship. It was August 2004 but believe me I forgot the exact date of re-birth. She joined our office as an article clerk. It was my ‘Crush at first site’. I went around my office to take some water or carry loads of file in an effort to get the glimpse of her beauty but she was deeply engrossed in ‘Sherlock Homes’. As a teenager I dreamt of a gal who could look modern at the same time traditional. She perfectly fitted the bill. I did not want to get the impression as ‘flirt’ in my first meeting itself which really held me back from proceeding further.
All article clerks stationed in Chennai for audits should attend the Saturday class in our CA firm, but the real reason for many was to meet & greet our fellow colleagues. These Saturday classes acted as a perfect stage for introducing the new joinees & in one such class I was introduced to this gal. ‘Hi. My Name is Anusha, what’s yours?’ was the question from her. I did not forget my name but took time to respond as my mind concatenated both our names. There were some arms length dialogues but soon we dispersed. My friends started realizing the sudden change in my behavior as I became a regular attendee for these Saturday classes. My eyes even glued to some of the all time ‘Mokkai’ romantic scenes in the Tamil movies.
Months rolled, vehicles went for service and I grew in size, thanks to all those ‘OC Saapadu’ provided by the clients. But nothing progressed on Anusha’s side except for the meetings during Saturday classes. The one major problem with Anusha is that she gets friends in seconds and before you realize that she starts talking about things showing decades of familiarity. During this time, I also noticed another junior article clerk becoming more and more close to her. Their private chats near our office staircase, exchange of foods, pleasantries made me fuming. There were times when we had ‘one on one’ but several such meetings went without making any impact or impression.
I had a friend in my articleship firm whom we call as ‘Gossip Galore’. He is a creator and disseminator of gossips. The funny part is that he extracts information from people as a trustworthy friend but duly pass on that information to others with a ‘confidentiality’ tag. People throng him for the latest gossips so was I. I came to know a lot of ‘not so good’ things about Anusha’s friend, some of them might not be true also. It seemed that he commented about Anusha’s duck walk style, flirting nature, immaturity etc but it deeply affected me. I was not bad enough to let Anusha know about these as I did not want to take the shortest and cheapest route to woo her.
This is when I got a chance to meet her in our head office in R.K. Salai. I was working on an audit report and she came to hand over her audit files. Resting those butterflies in my abdomen, I began the conversation. This conversation starting from Reception, extended to the lobby, staircase and finally till the parking lot. From work related issues, the conversation slowly went onto discuss about friends and in this course I learnt that Anusha was really sad about her friend distancing him from her with an indifference behavior. I should say that it was not a well planned conversation but something forced me to tell about all those gossips & comments which I heard about her through my friend. Thinking myself as a caretaker, I was gracious enough to shower her with my advices. I asked Anusha to be careful with such “wrong (?)” friendships, driving a point that I can be a trustworthy friend. Anusha was certainly impressed and with a twinkle in her eyes she acknowledged my advices. When she moved her vehicle from the parking lot I was sure that she was moved. This meeting was a milestone in our relationship. I was elevated as her ‘Best Friend’ from just being a ‘friend’ (which she had in dozens).
We started losing our self in each other’s company. The free SMSs for the day were exhausted within hours. Since I was senior to her, I made sure that I help in her office work. The best friend category is the most confusing relationship category as it falls between ‘Friend’ and ‘Love’. She called me one day to her client office which was in Spencer Plaza and gave her diary. I went to her house once to give my company law notes and she introduced me to her mom. She used to make surprise visits to my client office to meet me. We used to talk about office, CA exams/test papers, family, food, dress etc but we never fail to suffix one word in all our messages. Our messages used to end with a bolded word ‘Friend’, may be an effort to fence ourselves. For me who took the relationship till this level, the reality suddenly started to hurt. I was still doing my CA final, having a huge responsibility to take care of my family which includes my physically challenged sister. My family is a Brahmin Iyer family and is very conservative. Love marriages are a big NO and I always had a ‘Dad-phobia’.
I was neither able to break this relationship nor wanted to continue. I used to take pledge on each morning not to message Anusha and those promises were found broken on the very next moment I get a message from her.
My Vizag trip was the next milestone in our relationship. Some say ‘Distance connects people’. It happened in my life too. I was asked to go to ‘Taj Vizagapatnam’ for an internal audit. I have been to this place earlier during my first year articleship with Praveena (whom I regard as my mentor) and I just loved the experience. This time, when I was asked to go, I was not enthralled, the one and only reason being Anusha. I told her not to message me as I had to incur huge roaming charges. She did not appreciate it but since I had to pay for my mobile bills from my stipend money of Rs. 675 per month, she had to agree to my request. I left Chennai with a heavy heart and a swollen throat. One day, Anusha had an accident. When she was returning from her client office, she fell into an open drainage. Her left leg got struck and she was pulled from it by the bystanders. I was apprehensive for the whole day and was getting hour by hour update from her. Several years later, when Anusha told me that this particular incident and my gesture made a huge impact, all I could do was to thank the Chennai corporation drainage workers. :)
This was December 2005, ie 5 months of our relationship as “best friends”. Meeting Anusha in the morning and evening was my regular routine. This apart, we use to meet each other in our client offices. I bought a new two wheeler. I discovered the world with Anusha in my ‘Discover’ bike. From Nungambakkam to Villivakkam, from Marina to Elliotts, with her I felt the distance has shrunk. The ‘Café Coffee Day’ in Ispahani Centre used to be the famous hangout in Chennai those times. She was little hesitant when I called her for a coffee but finally accepted it after minutes of persuasion. She followed me in her scooter and I was showing all those road signs I learnt in my driving school to impress her with my road sense. In the coffee shop, she clicked me in her mobile cam to check the camera clarity but I understood the real intention. Even today when I see the ‘Café Nirvana’ in the CCD menu, I recollect those old good times.
We both realized that we were not just ‘friends’. Starring at her constantly, holding her hand, touching her feet, tell me in which planet a ‘best friend’ would do? Proposing to her was the natural progression & it happened on midnight of 24th December 2005. These were the messages:
Anusha: Where are we leading to?
Me: I did not understand your question
Anusha: Where are we leading to??
Me: You know, Harish Bhattad asked me if we are in love
Anusha: What did you respond?
Me: I did not respond
Anusha: What will you respond if I ask you this?
Anusha: Hello??
Me: To some extent, YES
After this, there was no response from her for an hour. She (Bluddi women!!) told me months later that she was checking it with Veena (her best friend) on what to respond. She asked me to meet her in ‘Hot Breads’ the next day afternoon. She did not say ‘yes’ and did not say ‘No’. But these are all enough hints that she is in love. I celebrated it yet took several efforts to make her to say that explicitly.
Over to Aug 2011: There was a huge gathering near Gandhi statue in Marina. People were holding the flag and protesting for the government proposed Lokpal bill. Their slogans woke me up mentally, from the deep slumber. Is that Anu in a white dress standing near the light house, messaging someone? She must be messaging me as im really late today. No, no that’s not possible. She is at my home. I fought with her and came here. I switched off my mobile too, how rude?! She must be really upset. I switched on my mobile.
Anu (that’s how I call her now): Where are we leading to?
Me: I did not understand your question
Anu: Where are we leading to??
Me: You know what, I asked myself today if we are in love still
Anu: So what’s your answer?
Anu: What will you respond if I ask you this? To some extent YES?
Me: Im crazy about you Anu. It’s been 4.5 of years of life with you. There were several ups and downs. But who said, “Nothing is constant except change”. I took a U turn and no one is stopping me now. Life is in full throttle!!!
- Hari
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