Tamil Culture & women- Are we talking about Male Chauvinism here?

- Hari

My office colleges were unusually giggling that Friday. It stimulated my curiosity but I hibernated it till lunch break. On the lunch table, I began the conversation and it soon killed my curiosity.

Ms. Sanghamitra who works in our bay has come in western attire was the news.

'What’s so special in that?' I asked my colleagues; After all she is wearing a shirt & trouser.

'We all thought Sanny (That’s how the client address her) is a perfect disciplined Tamil women. Am heartbroken since I always dreamt of a well cultured Tamil girl as my gal friend’

‘Who said that wearing a shirt & trouser is against Tamil culture & what’s wrong in that?’ I asked

‘Hari, come on. Gals during Tholkappium times were not wearing Kurtis & shirt. Don’t tell me. These people spoil our culture’- said Krishen.

Krishen alias Venkatakrishnan’s statement shocked me. Krishen is a Brahmin Iyengar who does Santhiyavandhanam three times a day despite his UK work timings. I was under the impression that the travel he undertook to UK for the transition work would have transitioned his ideologies since his thirunamam was missing from his forehead ever since he returned.

‘As per Hindu religion you should not travel abroad since travel across sea is forbidden. Why did you take that’, I was quick to ask this.

‘Are you seeing Sanny, coz this question is of least relevance here’ he smiled at his own joke.

‘It is. If you are not following your religion, you can’t expect them from others’.

‘Off course I follow. I perform Santhiyavandanam thrice a day & the transition travel was simply unavoidable. Anyways, religion & culture are both different. Im talking about her culture not about her religion’- Krishen looked serious.

I was in no mood to preach anyone but my mind was comparing religion & culture and the reason we guys, are concerned about culture especially when it concerns the opposite sex.
In IT industry parlance, Culture is nothing but the SOP (‘standard operating procedures’) for human life. It defines, what to do and what not to do. In a way, it is a subset to religion since religion too talks about individual discipline.

The culture has evolved over the years depending upon the civilization of the mankind and it should keep evolving as change is inevitable. So what holds good in a particular period may not hold good forever. In India, Khadi is (was!) a traditional wear which are handspun/hand-woven clothes suited for this climatic condition. Ever since we had an overdose of westernization we even started wearing blazers which are killer clothes for Indian climate. We (Men) had the exposure to westernization first. We also felt driving a two wheeler, travelling in a crowded bus is easier with trousers than with a ‘dhoti’ or ‘lungi’. Trousers soon replaced our traditional wear. After breaking the religious and cultural barriers we are seeing the present day women challenging us in every sphere of life. Some are bold and confident to shift to western attrire & some are reluctant to the change, may be on the fear of losing their cultural virginity and societal blackmails.

A 60 year grandpa wearing short & T-shirt jogs in a park and no one complains. His wife who usually jogs with a sari & canvas (!), attracted more eyeballs when she came in a ‘chudidhar’ on that blue moon day.

I browsed a Tamil daily which showed a group of gals wearing Jeans, shorts & trousers hoping near a shopping mall. The male journalist who must be a custodian of Tamil culture was bashing at these gals for spoiling the ‘Tamil’ culture. Few pages later, I saw photos of few actresses in a compromising posture. The daily carried the title 'மனம் திறக்கும் நடிகை XYZ'

In our office, as part of anniversary celebration, the employees were asked to come in traditional wear (I dunno who invented this weird idea!) They also gave list of wears which were allowed. We had a choice of Pyjama Kurtha and sharwani! It’s obvious, women were left with no other choice except Sari. The next day we had a haughty laugh at those gals struggling with their Sari.

I hate being called as MCP but is there a gender bias here? Are we using the culture as an excuse? We have grown seeing our mom & sister as ideal women. Our present day super women who love economic independence & socio-economic status have given the moms of housewife era a decent & silent burial. They are matured to choose their life, job, Partner. Do we need to preach them how to dress & about the 2000 years old cultural values? Let us give them a break!