The Fast and Furious

Advice always comes free. The older generation’s preaching always begins with ‘During my days’ or ‘When I was young’ kind of statements which is ridiculous, absurd and highly irritating. That’s because the days have changed and so is our lifestyle. Our standard of living has changed drastically and the present generation has several challenges to cope with, which were either non-existent or irrelevant that point in time. The most formidable issues are ‘communication’ and ‘commutation’.
We have 3G internet connections, WiFi and smartphones, so whats the problem with communication? My friend has registered his profile in a matrimonial website. He knows that bride hunting is the most difficult task currently, than job hunting. He uses his datacard and look for an update on a daily basis. The downloading speed is so high that he loses his potential/shortlisted bride before his computer contacts the server. The fact that Ratan Tata and Anil Ambani are playing the spoilsport on his engagement plan makes him fuming. My other friend uses ‘facebook’ extensively. So much so, he even kept his status message once which read as ‘My rectum problem and loose tools, sucks!’. He has his ardent followers and his facebook showed 3 of his friends liking his comments and one of them suggesting him to take some pills. He got a smartphone from an upmarket area in Chennai known as ‘Ritchie’ street for Rs. 6999. He is in depression and feels like ‘hanging’ everytime this Korean handset ‘hangs’ due to his multi-tasking exercise. But I have another friend who is not gadget guru but he is terribly worried on his monthly telephone bills. He just uses a simple basic mobile (May be 1G?) and looking at his mobile bills I asked him if he is looking someone? Then I came to know about this weird disease of making calls to Music channels and dedicating a song. This guy gets goosebumps everytime his voice is heard from his idiot box, but the chance of making it is as difficult as Grammy! Most of the time one will be in the queue which explains the reason for his skyrocketing mobile bills.
The other problem is commutation. We are all married to Indian roads as we spend most of our time on roads which is more than the time we spend at home. The traffic pattern on the particular morning will determine your rest of the day. On a busy weekday, my friend was first to hit the stop line when the signal tuned red in the ‘Tidel Park’ junction in Chennai’s OMR. He has greater responsibilities now as he has to speed up his car within a nano second once the signal turns green. The tension started building up and his blood started rushing out from his cardiac wall, as if a man waiting in a marathon. The time meter below the signal was showing 10 seconds (ie 10 seconds for the signal to turn green). He started accelerating and his foot was moving away from the clutch pedal. The signal turned ‘green’ and he released his clutch pedal when all the hell broke loose. His car stopped! ‘SHITTTTT’, he yelled at ‘Henry Ford’ and switched on his engines. When he attempted to release the clutch, the car stopped again, this time followed with huge honking from the vehicles behind him. One auto driver came near and started showing some signs with his face as horror as Malinga’s when he ‘throws’ his ball. The traffic cop from the other end came fast and gave his share of bad mouth. He reached office finally thinking about his bad day. When his laptop did not boot properly, he passed it nicely to his subordinate whose vehicle passed all signals successfully that day.
I stopped my car one day when the signal tuned ‘orange’. Bang! A call taxi hit me from behind and before I could react, he started shouting at me. The fault is ‘I stopped at the signal when it was only orange’ and this guy was coming at 100 kmph. The cop who intervened got Rs. 500 from the call taxi driver for overspeeding and Rs. 500 from me for not having the number plate in the rear side. (PS: The number plate was damaged only due to this incident or should I say accident?!)
So tell me guys! The next time you hear out from a grey hair about the today’s tech advantage and their olden golden age, will you recommend my blog?

- Hari

Students freak out

On a busy day when the place was buzzing with activity, a group of students joined to celebrate ‘Bus’ day, a mad idea in vogue only in Madras. The students hijacked the bus, forced the inmates to hop out, climbed over the roof and started dancing, singing all in presence of the police personnel. The driver of the bus was threatened at pen point not to accelerate. The traffic became haywire and came to standstill; Office goers, school kids, ambulance services, senior citizens were all at their mercy. I came to know that they were from nearby ‘Pachaiyappa college’ an institution dedicated for graduating rowdies. Only couple of days ago, these students joined their professors for a protest against the proposed metro station near their vicinity, as they feared destruction of green cover which they claim, are used for studying (!)

The ‘bus day’ is basically a thank giving day for the MTC buses which these students use free of cost to woo women, rag/tease people and do all kind of rubbish in the course of their graduation. In Karnataka the bus day is celebrated to encourage people to take public transportation, but here in Chennai, in the name of thanksgiving the seats of the buses are torn & window panes are broken, to give the loss making a MTC a real run for their money. ‘Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins’ is a famous quote. The nose cut and the bleeding mouth due to this barbaric act is nothing but the blow to this democracy.

God or Dog’s own country

My cousin married a Russian and visited Chennai. Our society, like our habit is very reluctant to ‘change’. It does not allow someone to be in his/her own way. A student who meticulously mugs up & scores 99.9% is appreciated while it looks down someone who fairs poor in studies & pursues his/her interest or ambition outside the school curriculum. School topper or college topper at the age of 16, a salaried job in a top notch IT company, arranged marriage at 26 years, own house & children at 30 years are some of the unwritten ‘standard operating’ model. A person departing from this model will occupy the hot seat of all speculations especially in family functions like marriages. Some of my cousin’s close relatives though initially not very happy about his love marriage started realizing the true essentials of a happy engagement which is (a) A boy and (b) A Gal. Religion, language, nationality etc is of no relevance and they are just ‘add ons’ to a married life.

We received her with a warm welcome. We showed her the glassy skyscrapers, grade separators, Air conditioned buses in Chennai. She in turn enquired more about the slums, cattle & people on the streets, may be, hangover from the Oscar winning movie which showed this country in grim, poor light. She asked me to describe the inequality in India in a nutshell. Im taking two scenarios to describe this which I could not do when she asked:

1. My friend Srinivas is not a happy man because of his kid ‘Adithya’ (‘H” silent). He checks his fortune driving his “Fortuner” at every sight of a petty shop in Navi Mumbai. Unfortunately, he could not find even a single ‘Air filling station’ for his kid’s bicycle. His earlier suggestion of a motorized cycle was turned down by ‘Adithya’. The plan B of tubeless tyres is yet to materialize. He lives in an integrated township which has Sauna, Jacuzzi, Spa, Acupunctured walkway, a multiplex, school, mall, tennis court, swimming pool but nothing satisfies ‘Adithya’, more than a joy ride in his cycle. Adding fuel to fire, his service lift often breaks down and Srinivas has to carry the cycle to 15th floor, which overlooks the sea. Though this may help Srinivas to bring down his BMI below 30, he is more than happy to pay Rs. 45,000 for a comprehensive weight reduction program in VLCC.
   
2. My maid’s neighbour VelMurugan is not a happy man. Not because his house, which his family was occupying for generations was bull dozed by the government to give way for a new ‘Multi Level Car Parking’. Not because he was relocated (of-course forcefully) to a place called ‘Semmencherry’, 30 kilometers away from his erstwhile house thus losing his job and livelihood. Not because of his wife who keeps complaining about the drunken men in their locality, poor sanitation, water & overflowing sewage, overshooting monthly family budget; It’s because of his one and only son ‘Tamil selvan’ (Read Tamil as Tamizh) who profusely cries as his old cycle tyre with which he plays is lost in the transit! Also he could not meet his old pals with whom he plays Gilli on the street overlooking the Cooum river!

For people like my cousin’s wife, the real estate development in India might sound weird. The real estate in India is more ‘investor’ driven rather than end user driven. (The government may even give tax exemptions for these real estate developers under SEZ provisions since they engage in rendering service outside India). The inclination towards foreign investors is perhaps the reason we find more Posh apartments and villas in a country where significant junk of the people are lower class or below poverty line. The government spends crores and crores of money in relocating people from slums to make India ‘slum free’. On the other hand due to migrations towards metropolis and lack of housing for these economically weaker sections, more slums are being formed.

The real ghost towns are not just in China but also in India. This is because in the so called new age ‘integrated townships’ the apartments are mostly vacant since the owner lives in developed country like US or Singapore and parking their deposits in developing country like ours. But for India’s facebook account if the status has to become ‘Developed’ all we need is an ‘inclusive’ REAL growth.

-

Hari

Endhiran- Titbits

From the desk of a KamalHassan Fan: The anxiety of watching the most hyped and most expected movie of the year “Endhiran- The Robot” the next day made that night sleepless. After watching the movie I was speechless. Each and every frame of this movie has been carefully crafted and with a whopping budget of 150 crores this movie has all ingredients to keep the cash registers ringing. Im not going to write a review but here is my ‘TAKE’ on this movie:

I never imagined a Rajni movie without punch dialogues & ‘Kuthu’ Pattu. This movie does not have single scene on the superstar’s mass image & star value. The superstar deserves a standing ovation for accepting a run of the mill character without giving a damn thought to his image. There is no introduction song & even the intro scene is straight forward!

This movie has raised the bar & sets new benchmarks. The younger heroes like Vijay, Ajith who are into image trap & fight for the superstar status by giving filthy ‘masala’ movies one after the other should take cue before they are thrashed down by the audience.

The theme is global. The director has purposefully avoided regional specific scenes. Prima facie, good commercial strategy! The location includes Marine drive, Bandra-worli sea link to give pan India feel.

The second half of the movie has too many animations & the CG on the climax goes little overboard. A little pruning would have done wonders.

The audiences were either engrossed in the movie or not in the position to take sides (Good Vs bad Rajni). Surprisingly they remained a silent spectator and within 5 minutes the whistle sounds subsided.

Rajni has performed some fabulous fights & the chitti dance song in which he dances like MJ are definitely a treat to eyes.

My friend told me that this movie is loosely based on ‘En Iniya Iyandira’ a famous fiction written by Sujata. But for the writer’s help Robert would have been a machine without battery. AR Rahman’s music won’t stand the test of time.

I spent 100 bucks for the 3 hour movie. Definitely price worthy. I will give thumps up with my punch ‘REPEATU’

Dot!

Go for IT or ‘GO’ for IT?

When I told that my neighbour was an IT commissioner, my friend was quick to ask, 'Wasn’t that a strange designation? I know Program manager, Team manager but how is this designation ‘commissioner’ going well with the customer?’ I clarified to him that ‘IT’ can also mean ‘Income tax’ and not just ‘Information technology’. Such is the power of IT (Henceforth mean only ‘Information Technology’) that every young Indian identifies the word with software companies.

I met my friend after a long time. The person who was once roaming around the ‘agraharams’ of Mylapore with a six yard dhoti was seen wearing a ‘Tommy Hilfiger’ T-shirt & a low waist jean. The boot actually weight lifted him by 3 inches with the Woodlands logo clearly visible. With the sign of prosperity - the tummy and a French beard he addressed me ‘Dude’. His transformation has been phenomenal & no wonder why every graduate wants to join an IT company, whatsoever his/her specialization is.

When Texas Instruments started in late 80s, no one would have guessed that the IT offshore market would cross $50Bn someday. Currently, 4% of our GDP & one fifth of our total exports are contributed by IT industry. Close to 2.5M Indians are employed in these companies, which translate to 1.25 crores direct dependency. (assumed for 1 earning member, there are 4 dependents). Over $12Bn of the total offshore revenue comes from BPO & going by the logic of $24K average realization per employee, the total dependent population of BPO comes to 26 lacs. When one talks about India’s growth story, the reference to IT/ITES is inevitable. The boom here propelled real estate, retail, tourism, automobile, travel/transportation, financial sectors thereby creating a multiplier effect.

This industry is growing but will India continue the momentum & retain its pie?
The US government has increased the Visa fee. Mr. Obama has started threatening the companies which are outsourcing jobs about the withdrawal of tax benefits. The Ohio government recently banned outsourcing. Though this may not have a significant financial impact in the short or medium term, one cannot rule out the psychological effect of these protectionist trends since US geography contributes more than 60% of Indian IT company’s revenues.

Only few years back the word ‘Bangalored’ meant job outsourced to India. That’s coz India remained the top outsourcing destination for the world. Today we have several countries like Brazil, Philippines, Mexico, and Vietnam which are giving stiff competition to India. Take for instance, China! The Communist government declared 20 destinations as outsourcing hubs & declared IT as their priority sector. Considering the aggressiveness the Chinese shows, we cannot really rest on the advantages which we naturally inherited like language, work culture etc. In a recent analysis, Gartner has mentioned that India’s share in outsourcing may reduce to 60% from the current 80 – 90%. Indian IT Company’s buzz word today is ‘Near shoring’. All major Indian IT biggies such as TCS, Infosys, Wipro, HCL already has near shore facilities in places like Atlanta, Romania, Polland where they are planning to recruit significant number of natives.

Leave alone the external factors, there are internal hiccups too;
(a) The cost of doing business in India is increasing!! The projected salary increase in India this year, as per Hewitt’s report, is 11.6%. Assuming, India continues the growth momentum for the next 15 years and assuming the salary increases around 10% YoY, in 12 years time we will not have any wage arbitrage between India & USA (On an assumption that US salary will increase by ~3% YoY during this period). In 3 years time, Philippines will become the preferred outsourcing destination than India. Though some may cry foul that the working population in India is much higher, the prospective or ready talent availability remains a challenge; thanks to our poor primary, secondary education & poorly implemented reservation policies. This again increases the hiring and training costs for the companies.

(b) The government is piggy backing on the removal of SEZ benefits citing irregularities (as though none of the other government schemes has).

(c) It is estimated that the total population in Indian cities by 2030 will be twice the size of USA. But still we do not know what ‘infrastructure’ means.

(d) We also have naxalism, terrorism, red tapism in abundance. Corporate scandals like the one happened in Satyam create a negative impression on our moral or ethical practices & integrity.

Are we approaching the dark or is it just a temporary cloud that’s …. Only time will tell what it holds for this sunrise sector. …..

Ever hoping,
Hari

Hop ON & Hop OFF in Chennai MTC

It was a usual day, usual office but unusually I decided to use the public transportation. It was not a bad idea, but due to the fact that I was forced to use it since my ‘high command’ took the car, I was rather infuriated. I was in office formals with a backpack. The images of jam packed chennai MTC buses, ‘open to sky’ bus stops, rusted seats traumatized me. The ‘Baby Nagar’ bus stop was just 10 mts walk from my apartment and the bus stop was, in reel sense, an excellent handwork of the state ‘Public works department’.

The MTC has introduced several AC VOLVO buses in major routes and I’m habituated to count the passengers inside these buses whenever I happen to see them. I saw a Volvo bus (Route 570 towards CMBT) approaching and I thanked my stars for saving me from an otherwise horrifying experience.

I got into the bus and to my surprise it was full, barely a seat or two left unoccupied. All the passengers had a quick look at me, not sure whether they do this profile screening on all boarding the bus. The conductor came to my seat (In Chennai, these people stick to their designated work place, usually near the exit gate & the passengers have the responsibility to collect the tickets) & addressed me ‘Sir’. Awe struck by his politeness, I physically controlled myself from falling off the seat. The window pane was huge and chennai looked really sexy through the lens of these Volvos. They played some nice melodies, sans those honking noise the journey was pleasant and refreshing!

Most of the Volvo patrons are youngsters who either lost themselves in ‘Iphone/Ipod ‘ or seen baffled with their gal friends. MTC should have done aggressive marketing of their AC services as an alternative for personal vehicles. They should fully utilize their ‘Global positioning system’ by providing the timetable through SMS or internet. Making them as Gen Y’s style symbol would have made these services a huge hit. The profits earned from these services can then be used to subsidize the ‘white board’ (normal) services.

I had to get down near ‘Race course’ junction since the bus took a detour from the ‘five furlong road’. The reality struck me immediately and I was completely drenched in sweat within minutes, thanks to the hot & humid climate. I trekked on the pavements. The air was filled with odor from the overflowing sewage, people were seen jumping, rowing on the stagnated pool. The ‘Kai Endhi Bavans’ (Road side food shops) were busy selling their ‘mid day Thali’ in the same vicinity. An auto driver was seen negotiating the rates from his prospective customer in his own style. One drunken man was crossing the road, swinging, cuddling his co-drunker. A group of middle aged people were coming out of ‘Guindy railway station’ most likely returning home after their shift.

This is India and this is Chennai. Behind the huge shopping malls and commercial skyscrapers there lies my society. This bus ride helped me to reconnect with my society. I travelled by foot thinking about what did I ever give back to my society. The reduction of carbon footprint on that day was the smallest contribution though!

Yours,
Hari

Ten Teething reasons why I should quit?

On a serious note, this has to be read with a ligheter vein

Interviews have become difficult to crack, I mean exit interviews. Thanks to acute talent crunch and ever increasing hiring and attrition costs, Indian companies are coming with divine ways to control attrition. Some of them give hefty salaries & provide stereotype targets with psychopath bosses. Some give moderate salary and provide the luxury of sitting on bench. (Few may not allow this option to perish) Some make a balance between Salary and work.

I decided to quit my company which falls under the last category. I decided not to face any humiliation from my boss, super boss and HR manager. Hence, I listed down issues which I believe none of the HR manager can retaliate. Some of them are given below:

1. My office websense (firewall) blocks Facebook and Naukri site thereby depriving my fundamental right.

2. My mobile phone with 10MP camera & 4GB memory is not allowed inside the ODC (Overseas development centre) due to security reasons. I was dismayed to note the double standard policy of my company which allowed the security team to install the CCTV!

3. There is no gender diversity in my process which has only male employees. I was embarrassed to face questions on 'oomph quotient' from my clients.

4. My office laptop does not recognize Blue ray/movie DVDs. The system even crashed once when I tried to copy Rajnikanth’s Sivaji from my pen drive.

5. My office bulletin board has no information on new releases.

6. My office has a 1000 seater cafeteria which does not serve liquors/cocktails. There are training halls but there are no party halls. The party animal within me has already gone on a “LTA”.

7. My office is just 5 km away from airport but 50 km away from the city. I need to commute in a non air-conditioned taxi daily. Since our nativity to the place where the office is located is questionable why don’t they provide the guesthouse accommodation within the same campus?

8. I could not doze off properly even during a good 'full meals day'. My office system has an admin controlled screen saver which says 'Work, Don’t stare' if my mouse is untouched for a minute. Worse, the screen saver scrolls in bold yellow 'DO NOT DISTURB. PRINCE HARI IS SLEEPING' if the mouse is untouched for 2 minutes.

9. My company follows US timing, US holiday, bill the customer in Dollors but pay us in Indian Rupees. Damn!

10. My office is situated in a Tropical place (Chennai). But the dress code is so strict that the tropical wear is not allowed inside the premises.

Im sure the reasons mentioned above can be appreciated by every Independent young Indian of the New India. The president of United states, Mr. Obama once spoke of shipment of jobs from Bangalore to Buffalo. Mr. President, ask the Indian IT companies when will they start treating their employees like holy cows !!!

Hilariously yours,
Hari